How to Get Your Ex Back

After having written How to Win Your Ex Boyfriend Back, I knew I had to write this one for those interested in getting their girlfriends back.

Need help getting your ex back?

What women are thinking when they dump you:

Intrinsically women all want one thing from their man. They want you to lead and they want you to be their support. If you fail to be strong competitors in their eyes compared to all the other males that come under their radar, you will eventually lose and they will leave.

Often although not always, women will leave when someone else fulfils their needs more than you. This is going to hurt a great deal when you realize you’re in some ways ‘not good enough’ for your woman.

But that’s like saying someone with good qualities is a good quality person. You don’t have to be the best, you just have to be better than the rest. You already have a heads up compared to anyone else because you have a history with your ex. Now assuming your time together has been mostly good, she will more likely come back than invest in a risky new relationship.

This doesn’t need to be hard or about changing who you are to make her happy. You already have great qualities in you, you just need to bring them out more and let her see it.

What to do first? Listen to your ex

Women notice when you don’t listen to them. They are all about attention to details. This is why when they break up with you, you need to listen to their reason. Most of the time they just want you to acknowledge them and make you aware of a situation.

But what do you do if you suspect they’re hiding something?

1). Truth is you most likely won’t get the 100% truth no matter what you do, so the best you can do is take what they’ve said and use your own common sense to figure out the rest.

2). If they give you some lame line, be straight with them and ask them firmly to tell you the truth… or at least give an answer you can be satisfied with. Most of the time they will ‘want’ to tell the truth and if they’re not, perhaps you shouldn’t want them back anyway.

What You Can Learn From Her Reasons

Knowing the reason they dumped you is a start but you’re not going to do anything about it just yet. Common mistake is your ex will tell you X, Y and Z reason for breaking up and then you tell them “I’ll fix X, Y and Z, so please take me back.”

Sorry, but it’s a bit late for that. If that’s what they wanted you to do they wouldn’t be breaking up with you, they would just have a talk and then put you on trial for a few weeks.

If they’re breaking up with you, their reason is quite secondary to the decision to break up. This means you have to ‘respect’ their decision first and foremost.

If you try to argue with them or make them feel bad about doing this (even acting immature), this will make them think you don’t respect them or their decision. You don’t want that.

‘Show’ them you’re listening and taking in what they say by allowing them the distance they’re asking for.

In other words, leave them alone for now!

The Work-On-Yourself Period

It’s important you maintain No Contact after the break up. For both of your sakes. Don’t panic and think she will forget about you and move on merrily with the next guy that comes along. Even IF that happens, clinging onto her by calling and stalking everyday is only going to drive her into that other guy 10x faster!

On the other hand, keeping your distance will give her a chance to miss you. The result of this is she will start calling you. Be very careful here however.

She isn’t doing it to get you back; she just wants to know you are still around as Plan B if her current guy or situation doesn’t pan out well.

Ignore it. Stay platonic and brief. Not until you’re sure she wants you more than that.

Pushing Women’s Hot Buttons

In order for her to really want you back, you have to make her ‘desire’ you and think about you non-stop until it drives her crazy!

Earlier I said women want someone to lead and someone to support them. In other words, they want a real ‘man’ to protect and help them with their problems.

You need to show your strength and hide your weaknesses. Keeping some distance is good as it builds a new mystery around you and she will miss you when you don’t respond to her the way you used to.

Going out with other girls:

Show her you are desired by dating other women. Whether you feel ready or not, it’s still a very good tactic to get her attention very quickly.

Work out and take good care of yourself:

If you’ve gained weight, it’s time to trim that fat and get lean! Your physical change will signal to her that you’re not just all talk but you’re actually changing to become a better and improved person.

Work on your habits or issues.

Know of some obvious issues that caused the breakdown of the relationship? It’s time to work on them. Just remember to do it for your own happiness not just for your ex. Any change you make needs to be long-term and not just a ploy to get your ex back.

Read this article here for more tips: Tips to Win Your Ex Back.

Re-Evaluate On 1^st of Every Month

It’s a good idea to keep a journal of how far you have come. Even if you still have your bad days you’ll notice things are getting better. Now I know realistically no guy is going to start writing in their journals every month to get their feelings straight. Instead you can ‘talk’ about your journey either to your friends, family or the less intimidating method of posting on message boards to a whole bunch of strangers.

Here are a few of my favourite:

Enotalone.com - favourite place for break up advice
Lovingyou.com - friendly people although they can be more ‘harsh’ about it… but truth hurts and they will be honest with you.
LoveShack.org - similar to the above but with more empathy towards the dumped

Either way it’s good to reflect on the process and the most important thing is that you have grown and ‘learned’ something.

Getting Her Back

While you’re working hard on yourself and keeping busy you will notice every now and then your ex sporadically popping into your life. What do you do if they talk to you? Keep calling you? What if you screw things up?

Really the only way you can screw it up is if you revert back to showing weakness and acting like you’re her doormat. So just be natural and see where it goes.

Now very likely by this stage, if your ex is seeing major improvements on your end, they will start to act different. This might not be straight away, but sooner or later you’ll sense them giving off ‘signals’.

This is where you act and do it quick before they think you’ve lost all interest in them. You do it casually, ask her out on a date; something non-intimidating and best of all, fun.

Making of Making Up is the best book for this scenario as Jackson certainly knows how to plan a powerful ‘get ex back’ first date.

The trick is to make this date absolutely unforgettable. You want to really blow her mind so it leaves her excited and begging to come back for more.

oing out with other girls:

Showingo.s a new mystery around you. them. however.

only going to drive her away into that other g Plan it well beforehand and make this one special.

Dating etiquettes:

DO make a lot of jokes and make her laugh.

DO take her to more than one place (several if possible).

DO for the most part take your cue from her.

DON’T come onto her too strong if you sense things are going well.

DON’T get all serious on her, remember it’s just one small date.

That’s about it. Of course I can’t guarantee anything but just remember if you continue to do the same thing and it’s not getting you results, the only way to succeed is to DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Also remember, if for whatever reason she doesn’t come back, does it really matter? I know by then you would be well moved on and you wouldn’t even care as much as you do right now.

Want the full plan that’s almost guaranteed to get your ex girlfriend back? Get Her Back Now!