How to Win Your Ex Back
So you want to win back your ex’s heart and make things right this time around. You know you have it in you and this relationship is worth fighting for. Whether your ex gave you some lame excuse or flat out said they found someone younger and cuter to take your place, with the steps below you have a good chance of winning them back. Provided you do everything and don’t take shortcuts. Good luck and I wish you well.
Here’s my tips on how to win your ex back:
Tip #1 “Tell Them One Last Time”
Before doing what everyone tells you to do and cut off all forms of communication, tell them one last time you want to make this relationship work. Your last plea or argument is the final case you make to win your ex back.
Your last talk with them MUST consist of:
Preparation: you wouldn’t show up to a job interview with unironed clothes and mud-covered shoes (I hope) and you also wouldn’t go in without at least some idea of what you’re going to say.
Treat your last talk with your ex like a job interview. You’ve got one shot and one shot only at this. Make it impressionable and make it good.
(NO CRYING, BEGGING, PLEAING, DESPARATE ACTS OF LOVE)
Tip #2 “When the Curtain Closes, The Shows Over”
It’s magic time! Yep that’s right, it’s time to vanish into thin air never to be heard or seen again by your ex. Think of yourself like a magician. You’re making yourself disappear but it’s all within your control and you can reappear whenever you feel like it.
Only make it at least a 21 day disappearing act. It will pay off trust me.
Tip #3 “Even Magicians Have To Pee”
Silly title I know, I just couldn’t think of anything. What it means is once you start the strict no contact rule, don’t just cower away into a corner and cry yourself into an alcoholic depression. This is the time to rediscover yourself, your likes, dislikes, your hobbies, your passions! Find fulfilling activities to take up your day and remember your life goals again.
These are the things that should make you motivated and feeling good in the morning. Even if you’re feeling crap and missing your ex terribly, thinking of your personal development goals and where you want to be in 10 years should be an uplifting and motivating thing!
If you find yourself lost as at this point, head on over to Steve Pavilina’s Blog and get inspired.
Tip #4 “Do Something For Someone Else”
You know what makes everyone feel good? It’s when you do something purely for someone else.
Give back to your community. Give a friend a gift or better yet MAKE them a gift. Send a card to your long distance relatives. Think of something that’s outside of your own problems and yourself. You will feel better and you’ll also make someone else feel good too.
Tip #5 “Ignore The Ex”
You might find that some Exes just won’t go away no matter how hard you try. If you’re handling no contact well you just might find them calling you up and telling you they miss you. DON’T FALL FOR IT.
They don’t want you back but they don’t want you NOT to want them back either. Funny isn’t it. In some cases your ex might be the more mature kind and actually respect your silence. Others are not so empathetic.
Be nice and polite, but keep your conversations brief and absent of relationship and emotion talk.
Tip #6 “The Yo-Yo Ex”
One minute it’s “I love you and miss you”, the next it’s “….” In other words, the silent treatment. Acting warm and cold is the game of choice by immature and confused exes. Be strong and don’t accept it unless they give you a definite answer they want to get back together.
Tip #7 “The Silent Ex”
You don’t hear a peak from your ex after 21 days or perhaps even 80 days. Some Exes remain annoyingly dormant until you do something to shake them awake. It’s ok, it doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you or they suddenly got married to another guy on the internet.
A silent ex means:
a). They’ve moved on and they want you to move on too.
b). They’re still not over the break up and want to punish you.
Either way, it’s time to re-appear back in their life and see how they react to the new and improved you.
Tip #8 “Reappearing Magic Trick!”
The magic trick never gets old. It’s time to combine all your best qualities into one awesome package and come out with the big guns.
The key is NOT to overwhelm them with this new you and rub it in their faces. It’s time to play Mr or Mrs Mysterious Ex and see if they take the bait. Anyone with eyes and ears will not be able to resist when curiosity bites so make them curious about your new life and the new improved you.
Let them chase you and it doesn’t hurt to suggest you might be out of their league now.
Tip #9 “Reunion?”
If your ex wants to get back together, before you start celebrating too soon, have a nice good look at yourself and then have a nice good look at them. How does your life compare to theirs now? Does your value and goals line up? Is there even someone else that might fit into their role better?
Who knows you might end up dumping them if you make a haste decision at this point.
Tip #10 “Congratulations You Have WON Your Ex Back!”
Winning your ex back might seem like the best and only option for you at this moment but things change. People change and YOU change. Never-the-less winning them back might be a sign that perhaps you never really lost them after all.
I wish you the best of luck in your quest to win your ex back. Relationships that fail often develop this habit of breaking up and making up. If you’re smart though and really listen and learn from your mistakes, you can both come out stronger and happier individuals.
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