How to Get Your Ex Back

If your relationship has just ended, the last thing you want to think about is dating other people. But if the breakup was a quite a while ago (read: a month, two weeks, and six days – or some ridiculous figure like that), it’s high time that you should.

Why Date?

There are many reasons why you should start dating, and no reason why you shouldn’t. It all depends on your goals – that is to say, if you want your significant other back, or if you want to start afresh. Whatever it is that you wish to achieve in the long run, here are some of the benefits of getting back into the dating scene:

1. You’re moving on. Or at least, it seems like it. On the one hand, you don’t want your ex to think that he’s been replaced because you’re still hoping for a reconciliation. On the other, you don’t want it to look like you’re spending your days grieving. When you date, you, at least, put up the appearance that you’ve moved on (even if you haven’t), and you’ll appear stronger and more unattainable – an appearance, I might add, that’ll surely pique the interest of any ex.

2. You’re occupied. Dating keeps you busy, which is always a good thing because it means that you have enough to do and look forward to to prevent you from staying in bed all day, wallowing in grief. Dating is as constructive an activity as they come, and something that you might actually enjoy. Before you know it, you’ll find that you haven’t thought about your ex in days, or even weeks!

3. You’re more aware of your value. Dating, especially in the wake of a breakup, does wonders to the self-esteem. Your confidence will get that much needed boost when you go out on dates. You’ll feel more attractive, wanted, and desired. Furthermore, you’ll find that there is life after a breakup, after all! It is, indeed, a feeling so empowering that you’ll probably wonder why you haven’t done it sooner.

Watch Out!

Of course, like all things in life, dating new people is never as easy as it sounds. In fact, it can be downright scary if you’ve been in a relationship for long and, therefore, out of the dating scene for a long time. There are so many things that you may end up doing wrong, if you’re not careful; hence, why you must be on the right mindset to start dating anew.

Know that you can’t – I repeat, can’t – possibly consider jumping into another serious relationship just yet. You’ll only end up in a rebound relationship that’s a sure recipe for disaster. You will be vulnerable and likely to make rash decisions. You will always be seeking validation. Most of all, you might end up settling for far less than what you want and deserve. Suffice to say, such a relationship is not only unfair to you, but to the other person, as well.

If you’re going to go back into the dating scene, do it to have fun and meet new people. You’re likely to achieve all these with ease if you’re not expecting an instant replacement for your ex. This doesn’t mean, however, that you don’t have to make an effort during the date. On the contrary. Treat dates the way you want to be treated by:

• Keeping an open mind. He may not be your ex, but who knows? You might genuinely like him. Everyone should be given a chance. So whatever you do, don’t spend the entire night harping about your ex. Instead, get to know the person you’re with.
• Impressing him. Even if your ex is still on your mind, you still have to make an effort to look good, smell good, and behave appropriately. This is your way of showing your appreciation that he took the time and effort to see you.
• Being honest. If your ex is still on your mind and you feel that you don’t want to continue dating because of that, or if chemistry is simply conspicuously absent, do be honest about it. Don’t string him along just because you need a buffer for your emotions. Rather, be kind and tell the truth.

Whether you choose to continue dating, or to pursue reconciliation with your ex, it is important to take your time. Have fun and build up your confidence, and you will inevitably attract the Right One into your life – whether it’s your ex, or someone new.

Tags: break up, can you get your ex back, date, move on after break up